What would be wrong with viewing burlesque on the View-Master?

The View-Master's picture reels were somewhat expensive, they were a little flimsy, and tended to warp, tear, and scratch. The viewer itself, despite it's nifty cherry red appearance, was bulky, awkward and goofy looking. But there was something magical about the View-Master and those peculiar round paper slides that brought simple pictures to life.

Sales of the classic three-dimensional image viewing device have waned since its introduction in 1939. With so many other multimedia devices available on the market, the View-Master seems somewhat primitive in comparison. What use could a novelty 3D picture viewer serve now, other for than nostalgic purposes. Unless, that is, it could be used to view...porn!

And why not? Everyone would agree that pornography is enjoyable. But you know, even in high resolution, graphic sex isn't as visually gratifying in merely two dimensions.

Was the View-Master ever intended to view porn? Probably not, but it's still a good idea!

Yes, pornography could be just the thing to revive the popularity of the View-Master.

If lecherous 3D images of nubile young women made it seem like they were in the same bed as you, would you want to view them? If they could create hardcore in-your-face pictures that jumped out at you like an Amsterdam live sex show, would it make you want to go out and buy a View-Master? Would you pay to look at 38 Double-D's in 3-D?

It shouldn't be that difficult for pornographers to start taking their xxx pictures in the same stereo imaging format. (they could call it stereopornoscopic imaging or something dirty and clever). Basically, the images are just taken from a different angle, and well, porn stars are used to that! The adult plastic picture postcards would still be compatible with the original devices, and horny men (and women) would just need to dig around their attics to pull out their old plastic viewer to enjoy reel after reel of sexy stereopornographic girl-on-girl action.

The only downside that I can think of would be that it would be difficult to hold the hand-held viewing unit while you were trying to work your own hand-held unit.