“Not-so-plenty of fish”, says cat
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| Tinker the cat thinks there’s something fishy with PlentyOfFish.com. |
NEXT TO THE SCRATCHING POST–Tinker is a 6-year-old, black and white common house cat. While normally tame and pacified, Tinker recently became extremely upset over an issue with Plenty Of Fish (www.plentyoffish.com), the popular online dating site.
“This is mouse turd,” ranted Tinker, whose fur is in an uproar over Plenty Of Fish’s confusing advertising model. “It’s blatant misrepresentation and false advertising–the supply of fish on this website is not plentiful, it is not in abundance, nor is it apparent in any quantity whatsoever. The only thing that is plentiful is the amount of deceit procured by the website’s owners and publishers.”
Tinker, who likes to play with laser pointers and enjoys long walks on the fence, hasn’t been this upset since the time his owner had to trim cat poop stuck to the underside of his tail.
“The domain itself is an inherent falsehood,” continued Tinker, who craves companionship as much as he craves canned tuna in gravy. “The expectation of needy felines, those with a desire to engage in their seafood fantasies, is clearly mispresented by the ignorance of these humans. It should be called ‘Plenty Of Humans’, because there’s obviously no damned fish.”
When asked how he got to Plenty Of Fish, Tinker mentioned that he was referred by a friend. When asked again more clearly how he was physicially able to navigate to PlentyOfFish.com much less any website, Tinker answered that he is capable of using his paws to manipulate the glide pad on his owner’s laptop computer, although he still hasn’t been able to get used to the mouse.
“Don’t get me started…”, warned Tinker, whose interests by the way include scratching, cleaning, and napping, and his favourite musician is Cat Stevens.
Plenty Of Fish did not comment on the issue, but then, no one contacted them to address it.
Tinker, who was not concerned with any legal issues surrounding his terse words. “I’ll retract my claws before I retract my statements,” said Tinker before clicking on a savoury web link for chunky chicken cat treats.
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