The
Cheese Stands Alone
DUBLIN,
OHIO -- Chuck E. Cheese, the revered rodent responsible
for bringing smiles to millions of children's faces, has lost
his wife in a cruel trap-related accident.
The
seven-foot tall mouse is of course devastated, losing the
only thing in his life he loved more than pepperoni pizza
and refillable fountain drinks.
Chuck,
who now works as a lab assistant, recalls his wife fondly.
He remembers the times she would affectionately bonk him on
the head with a mallet, and the times she would come back
from a day of shopping carrying armloads of worthless crap.
Chuck
intends to sue the owner of the oversized mousetrap that killed
his mousely spouse, and doesn't "give a rat's ass"
how long it takes.
In
lieu of flowers, the Cheese family asks that you send tokens
in grateful appreciation.
CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
The
Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every
week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously
ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter
with the least amount of effort.
All
of our satirical stories are original and written by our own
staff, without the assistance of drugs, alcohol, or banned
sugar substitutes.
We
encourage you to write
us and tell us what you think of our site. Let us know
if you have any suggestions, opinions, words of encouragement,
or if you just to want to tell us we've left our turn signal
on.
Yes,
we're aware that we're not The Onion, but I'm sure
they get the same comparisons to us.
Thanks
for reading, and come back as often as you like. Tell a friend,
post a link, buy a t-shirt,
and always remember that a toque is more than just a frickin'
hat.
