A Pint-Sized Gesture To An Ale-ing Country

Canadian foreign aid workers take a break while packing up a shipment of beer destined for war-torn Afghanistan.

The Canadian government, responding to calls for international relief, has endorsed a foreign aid package that will send 400,000 cans of refreshing Canadian beer to war-torn Afghanistan.

The Prime Minister and the Conservative government, showing great compassion to a country that has been battered and reduced by strife, and a long and bloody conflict, will personally oversee the shipment and delivery of nearly 130,000 litres of frosty Canadian beer.

The tasty Canadian nectar will be transported to the ravaged nation using special refrigerated container ships, and delivered to needy, thirsty Afghanis by Canadian forces already stationed in Afghanistan. The shipment is also expected to contain 12,000 bags of pretzels, salted of course.

This is not the first time that Canada has responded to a world crisis with necessary aid.

In 1972, Canada shipped 12,000 caribou carcasses to famine-struck Ethiopia. (This was a perfect solution to disposing of the animals that had drowned in an earlier flood).

In 1981, Canadian Coast Guard vessels towed 14 icebergs to French Guyana after typhoon Dave swept through and tainted the island nation's entire fresh water supply.

And more recently, in 1997, Canada sent 50,000 bottles of Labatt's Blue to war-torn Somalia. Unfortunately, that small humanitarian gesture turned into an international incident when the African country refused to pay back the deposit on the returnable bottles.

Canada intended to make up for that incident by shipping 2000 tonnes of rippled potato chips and another 5000 gallons of garlic dip, but Somalian warlords threatened to confiscate the entire shipment and use it for rebel celebrations on Superbowl Sunday.

Although the desperately-needed aid to Afghanistan will not repair the damage that has been done by endless months of brutal war, civil uprising, the Taliban, and other extremist activities, it may allow the demoralized people of Afghanistan to forget their problems for at least one night.