Teenage Vampire Looking Paler Than Usual

Billy, a teen vampire, regrets working the nightshift at the 7/Eleven while his vampire buddies are out prowling the night.

It's the same old thing. While Billy is spending all his time working at the store, saving up for his own customized crypt, his friends are out having their nocturnal fun, preying on humans and terrorizing the city.

"I'm stuck with these dusk-til-dawn shifts," complained Billy. "It really gets my cold blood boiling. While Alfie [Von Blahhh] and Ross [Veindrainer] are flying around with hardly a care in the world, I'm tasked with making sure the Slurpee™ machine is full."

While most other vampires his age work as tellers at the blood bank, Billy didn't want to get stuck in the same red-collar rut. He wanted to spread his bat wings and do something his bloodsucking brethren weren't willing to try--retail.

"At first it was kind of exciting," admitted Billy. "Especially when would-be thieves tried to hold-up the store. 'Shoot me,' I'd say, and then I'd stare them down with my living-dead eyes. I'd get a laugh out of that, until I realized that I was the one who had to mop up the mess after the terrified human lost control of his bladder."

Billy may be starting to realize that creatures of the night weren't put on this earth to sell bus passes, candy bars, and lottery tickets.

"The job gets to you after a while. The eerie fluorescent lighting creeps me out--there's no shadows! And the burger station is revolting. All the meat is cooked!"

The fact Billy is providing service for potential "prey," hasn't endeared him to his vampire friends either.

"I get a lot of ribbing from my so-called brothers of the night," said Billy. "They think I just lounge around snacking on fruit and stockpiling humans in the walk-in freezer. They don't realize that I'm responsible for making the cash-drops, inventorying the cigarettes, and maintaining the snack-food displays. There's too much work--I don't have time to strike fear into customers! The whole thing really bites."

Although Billy's motivation may be waning, his boss is nevertheless impressed with his work ethic.

"Billy's a great worker," said Parveet Singh, store manager, "but he'll only work the graveyard shift. That's great, it's a hard shift to fill. But he never wants any overtime. By 4 or 5 am he's out of here like a bat out of hell. Mind you, he's the only employee I've ever had who's never mooched a corn dog from underneath the warming lamp."

Billy's vampire mom appreciates the fact that her undead son is making an attempt to integrate into human society, but she's also worried that the job is wearing on him.

"He comes home and sleeps all day," said Mrs. Bloodbiter. "Some days he won't even leave his casket. And he's much paler than usual. I don't think he's drinking enough blood."

"I am feeling a little drained," admitted Billy. "Maybe I will quit...this job is really starting to suck the life out of me."