Canadian Metric Bakeries

Due to the enormous quantities of seal oil it takes to fire the ovens in a true bakery, it is not cost-effective (in more ways than one) to bake our own goods.

It was tried once by an entrepreneuresse named Marie-Anne Toinette. Two weeks after her bakery went into operation, Canada's seal population (who don't have voting rights) was nearly decimated (see - there's that metric again). People were starving, not to mention the polar bears, which normally have the same diet as us, but don't share our abhorrence of substituting anything that moves (i.e. people) in a pinch (or, more accurately, a vice-like crushing rending bite).

Marie-Anne was more concerned with making her business succeed than she was with people starving because of a shortage of seal meat. When she was confronted by a throng at the gates of her bakery, she  uttered those famous words "Let them eat cake!"

Well, "seal's the meal", as we say here; a cry of "That takes the cake!" went up, and Marie-Anne was fed to the throng of bears lurking behind the throng of people. That was the end of -that- venture.

The bakery was shut down (since no one came forward and volunteered to take over operations), and it subsequently became (and still is) Toronto's Town Hall. That's all history, so back to the matter at hand:

A government-run bakery, The Bakery Store (a name I've never liked, since it's -this- close to being redundant) was established. Every two or three months (depending upon snow conditions), a slather of sleds (what Merkans would call `a convoy') makes its way to the Canada/U.S. border. The buyers turn the dogs over to the Border Handlers, then board buses (Boy - those things are neat! I bet -everybody- in the States loves buses) and prowl Buffalo streets looking for `BAKE SALE' signs.

We then buy (using geunuine Saskatchewan sealskin bindings and soapstone carvings for barter) American dozens (12 per), take them back to the border, load them onto the sleds, and then it's back home. At The Bakery Store, 2 are removed from each package and then re-packaged; in theory, each 5 U.S. dozen create another metric dozen, but the actual yield falls short of that. This is called `shrinkage' in the trade, but, looking at the bakers, I don't understand how that term came about.


 
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