Random Hockey Humour
  • Hockey is becoming more violent. Last night's game looked like the Mafia On Ice.
  • Reporter to hockey player: "Did you ever break your nose?" Player: "No, but eleven other players did!"
  • Hockey players have been complaining about violence for years. It's just that without any teeth, no one can understand them.
  • They say there are three ways to play hockey: rough, rougher, and "I'll help you find your teeth if you'll help me look for mine."
  • Hockey players aren't always big, but their bodies are always large enough to hold all the black and blue marks they get in a game.
  • Our home team wasn't doing well. During a typically horrible game, none of the players had even taken a shot on goal. Finally, one got the puck and a voice from the stands yelled, "Shoot it! The wind's with you!"
  • The dentist complimented the goalie on his nice, even teeth...one, three, seven, nine, and eleven were missing.
  • When I was a kid, I thought that hockey players were sent to the penalty box to sit until their fathers came home from work. Come to think of it, that isn't such a bad idea.
  • Just about the time they seem to be decreasing the amount of violence on TV, the Stanley Cup Playoffs come on ESPN.
  • Bumper sticker: BE KIND TO ANIMALS. HUG A HOCKEY PLAYER.
  • A hockey puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players hit when they are not hitting each other.
  • Hockey is definitely too tough. I mean, what other sport has a coroner.
  • I've created an invention that will revolutionize hockey and make it the wildest game on earth. It's a clear Lucite puck.
  • I think hockey is a great game. Of course, I have a son who's a dentist.
  • In hockey you take a stick and hit either the puck or anyone who has touched the puck.
  • I knew that it was going to be a wild game when a fight broke out in the middle of the National Anthem.


 
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