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Columnists

• Dick Wisely.
• Floyd Barber.
• Grouchy Joe.
• Barry Onmione.
• Burt Umbre.
• Cecil Sechelles.
• Captain Electro.
• Emeril Lazarus.
• Evan Gilleste.
• Fubrics Short.
• Grouchy Joe.
• Helena Aunde-Bague.
• Kent Fukuzura.
• Luc Beauthoaise.
• Paul Chippens.
• Old Pete.
• Shirley Eugeste.
• Troy Ounce.
• Inquisitor Ybarra.

Main Menu Of Stuff

• Home.
• Fake Images.
• Funny Pictures.
• News Bits.
• Canadian Jokes.
• Editor's Desk.
• About Us.
• Contact.
• Artificial Christmas Trees.

Story Sections

• Adult Content.
• Animal Kingdom.
• Beer.
• Bizarre.
• Business.
• Canadiana.
• Computer Gaming.
• Computers/Internet.
• Health.
• Hockey.
• Human Interest.
• Humor.
• Politics.
• Popular Culture.
• Religion.
• Science/Technology.
• Sports.
• World Issues.
• Canadian Hinterland.
• Reviews.

Top Menu

• Contact.
• About.
• Sitemap.

Canadian Jokes

Canadian Jokes

• An American, a Moroccan, and a Canadian.
• President Bush and Prime Minister Martin In An Airplane.
• A Canadian In Alabama.
• A Canadian In An American Brothel.
• A Canadian Non-Hero.
• A Canadian Walks Out Of A Bar.
• A Canadian, A Genie, And A Bottle.
• A Genie In Toronto.
• A Guy Walks Into A Canadian Bar.
• A Seal Waddles Into A Bar.
• A Texan, A Canadian, And A Guy From Michigan.
• Beer Troubleshooting.
• Beer Vs. Pussy.
• Beersex.
• Brewery Presidents Go For Beers.
• Canadian Metric Bakeries.
• Canadian Olympic Mens Hockey Team And A Virgin.
• Canadian Soldier.
• Clyde The Newfie.
• GST.
• Guessing My Age.
• Heavenly Hockey Joke.
• Hockey Lessons.
• International Lovemaking.
• Little French Bastard.
• Moose Hunting.
• Mountie Message.
• Newfie Window Cleaner.
• North Dakota Border.
• Old Hockey Injury.
• Peeing In The Pool.
• Provincial Cow.
• Random Hockey Humour.
• RCMP Job Interview.
• Roll Up The Rim To Win.
• Shooting Beaver.
• Some Funny Canadian Golf Jokes.
• Team Canada Joke.
• The Blonde And The Trucker.
• The Blonde In The Blizzard.
• The Canadian And The 25-Pound Boy.
• The Canadian And The Scot.
• The Canadian Ice Fisher.
• The Empty Seat.
• The Fly In The Beer.
• The Meaning Of The Canadian Flag.
• The RCMP Officer And The Motorcyle Rider.
• The Sport Of Drunk-Driving.
• The Tongue-Tied Torontonian.
• The Value Of Beer.
• Three Canadian Guys And A Genie.
• Three Canadians In Heaven.
• Torontonian Store Owners.
• True Hockey Fans.
• Two Beavers.
• Two Canadians And A Genie.
• Wayne Gretzky And Olympic Condoms.
• Wayne Gretzky Gambles With God.
• Wayne Gretzky Tattoos.
• Winnipeg Wonderland.
• You're Probably A Canadian If:.

Columnists

Dick Wisely

• My Name Is Dick.
• Shopping Mall Cart-El.
• The Fountain Coin Mystery.
• Things That Go Bump In The Night.

Floyd Barber

• Break Time Is Over Shitball.
• I Did Not Order This Shit.
• That Shit Ain't Funny.
• You Are In Deep Shit.

Editors Desk

Editors Desk

• And The Academy Award For Most Downloaded Movie Goes To....
• April Fool's Day Letdown.
• Canadian Humour Is A Renewable Resource.
• CBC's Second Rate Second City Show.
• Hockey Night In England.
• Hockey, My Sweet Mistress, I Will See You This Fall.
• Hollow Easter Bunnies Left Me A Shell Of A Child.
• I'm Just Dying To Spoil The Harry Potter Book Ending.
• iPhoneys Disturbing My Coffee Time.
• McKenzie Brothers Reunion.
• No Medals For Canada At 2008 Beijing Olympic Games.
• The Transformers Movie.
• What A Freakin' Mess.

Fake Images

Fake Images

• Ahrm Pitt For Men.
• American Cheese Models.
• Amistad The Game.
• BBQ'Ing The Dragons Of Pern.
• Bloody Syrup.
• Buscemi.
• Celebrity Pants.
• Charts N Graphs.
• Colecovision Buying Guide.
• Cotton Gin.
• Crackwhore Of Shannara.
• Crazy Jack's Syrup.
• Daleks Quarterly.
• Delta Burke.
• Effeminate Doll Collectors.
• Embarassing Moments.
• Emoticon Lexicon.
• Galaga Monthly.
• Get Firefox.
• Glockenspiel.
• Golden Shower.
• Goth Hunter.
• Gretzkia.
• Horse Meat.
• How Much Would Jesus Spend.
• Krakenweis.
• Leafs Suck Monthly.
• Levitating Made Easy.
• Lil Devil Fire Accelerant.
• Maple Coke.
• Meat Beat.
• Modern Agoraphobic.
• Modern Jaywalker.
• Modern Mullet.
• New Canada Map.
• Pasty White Guys.
• Perplexed.
• School Bully Digest.
• What's Afoot.

Feature Stories

Adult Content

• Airport Offers Porn To Tired Travelers.
• Consumer Study Links Vehicle Size To Penis Size.
• Covering Up With The Ass Sweater.
• Do You Like My Ball Sack?.
• Girl Loves To Suck Caulk.
• I'm Certain That Archie Had A Huge Cock.
• Nude Pictures Of Angelina Jolie.
• Nude pictures of Britney Spears....
• Nude Pictures Of Jennifer Aniston.
• Nude Pictures Of Jessica Simpson.
• Nude Pictures Of Lindsay Lohan....
• Nude Pictures Of Pam Anderson.
• Protests Augment Outside Breast Reduction Clinic.
• Ron Jeremy's Sexual Secrets Revealed.
• Saying No To Sex While Computing.
• Teen's Last Dying Wish: A Threesome.
• There's Nothing Finer Than The Love Mussel.
• There's Nothing Tastier Than The Bearded Clam.
• Using The View-Master To Look At Porn.
• Viagra -- Rising To The Challenge.
• What's Wrong With Packing Fudge?.
• Woman Frosted Over Erotic Cake.
• World's Male Population Anticipates Britney Spears Paris Hilton Sex Tape.

Animal Kingdom

• Mopping Up With The Mop Dog.

Beer

• Beer Makes The Man.
• Beer Makes You Psychic!.
• Beer Nuts Bring The Buzz.
• Buy Your Beer From A Vending Machine.
• Canada Sends Beer To War Torn Nation.
• Emergency Beer Kits Save Lives And Parties.
• New School Drinking Limits Hard To Swallow.
• Plant Your Own Beer Garden.
• The Beer Man Knows What Ales You.
• The Refreshing Tale Of The God Of Beer.
• Very Cold Beer Far More Refreshing Than Just Cold Beer.
• Why Can't My Life Be Like A Beer Commercial?.

Bizarre

• Beware The Secret Mysterious Island Of Dr. Jim Henson.
• Garden Gnome Waiting For Right Time To Kidnap Boy.
• Goth Girl Caught In Headlights.
• Job Sucks Life Out Of Vampire Teen.
• Swamp Things Place On Endangered Species List.
• The Real Dirt On The Mole People.
• Watch For Sasquatch On Road.

Business

• Business Solutions: The Ass Copier.
• Day Old Newspapers Are Still News To Me.
• Entrepreneurial Successes: The Autoplauser.
• Home Office Could Use A Paper Shredder.
• Mail Order Grooms Shipped To Order.
• McVISA Cardholder Way Over Her McLimit.
• New Floor Supervisor Is A Real Slave Driver.
• Properly Promoting A Paperless Office.
• Snake Oil Salesmen Asp You Serpent Questions.
• Telemarketing Manager Takes Enthusiasm To A New Level.
• The Price Of Friendship Is Going Up.
• You Can Bank On Trust Companies.

Canadian Hinterland

• The Petroleum Jellyfish.

Canadiana

• A History Of Wooden Coins In Canada.
• Aluminum Christmas Trees Are A Canadian Tradition.
• Canada Discovers Mysterious Tenth Province.
• Canada Introduces The Social Insurance Credit Card.
• Canadian Tire Builds ATM Network.
• Counterfeit Currency Crooks Creating Better Bogus Bills.
• Digging Up The Real Story On Granola Mining.
• French-Canadians Love Their Mayonnaise.
• Happy Canada Day Eh.
• Inuit Artists Carving A Niche With Glycerin Soapstone.
• Kool-Aid Refinery Kauses More Damage Than Good.
• Lumberjacking Fells Other Canadian Education Programs.
• Of Course All Canadians Know Each Other.
• Protecting The Sacred Canadian Beaver.
• The Canadian Coinspiracy.
• The Canadian Effects Of Global Warming.
• The Canadian Way To Stay Cool In Summer.
• The Great Canadian Moose Riders.
• The Rocky Mountain Tunnel Opens Up Trade Between Provinces.
• Vancouver Island Separatists Making Waves.
• Yukon Dogsled Drag Racers Disrupt Great White North.

Computer Gaming

• Gamers Coping With Motion Sickness.
• How To Score A Career In Computer Gaming.
• Old Gamer Thinks Young Gamers Are Spoiled.
• Oversized Software Packages Come With Huge Demands.
• Paddle-Playing Purists Preach Pong.
• Peons Tired Of Doing All The Grunt Work.
• Post Traumatic Gaming Syndrome.
• Sally Struthers Wants You To Help Save The Gamers.
• Softwarez Store Creating A Copy For Success.

Computers

• Alaska Internet Pipeline Project Completed.
• Babelfish Adds Canadian & American Languages To Translation List.
• Beware The Dangers Of Internet Electrocution.
• Bill Gates Attempts Return To NBA.
• Bob's Utility Software.
• Computer Techniques For Tattoo Removal.
• Creative Labs Introduces The Silent Sound Card.
• Diesel Jet Printers Handle The Big Jobs.
• Does This Guy Look Like Bill Gates?.
• Geek Imagines That Martha Stewart Appeared In Wired Magazine.
• Google Introduces Google Middle Earth.
• Google Removes Keyword "Gullible" From Their Search Engine.
• Google Search And Rescue Engine Gets Results.
• Google Subliminal Adsense Will Be Very Persuasive.
• Google Yourself At Your Own Risk.
• I Fought Moore's Law And The Law Won.
• Internet Addict Downloads For The Future.
• Internet Dating Has Its Risks.
• Internet Gambler Wagers On His Future.
• Teenager Dumped By Chatroom Girlfriend.
• The Geek Workout.
• Understanding The Farking Troll.
• Use Your Windows Recycle Bin And Save The Environment.
• Viewing Porn Will Put You In The Doghouse.
• What Should I Do If The Internet Goes Down?.
• When You Back Up Do You Backup The Back-Ups?.
• Why I Lost That Information Technology Job.
• Why Must We Pick On The Hunters & Peckers?.
• Wife Is Having Some Internet Growing Pains.
• Your Plodding PC Can Still Look Fast.

Health

• Candy Cigarette Companies Must Add More Warning Labels.
• Sidewalk Chalk Artists Deal With Chalk Addiction.
• Tooth Bugs Taking A Bite Out Of Your Mouth.

Hockey

• Canadian Kid Chooses Gaming Over Hockey.
• Hockey Conscription Works For Canadians.
• Hockey Night Hygiene Hysteria.
• Hockey Night In Rural Canada.
• Hockey Player Sent Down To The Farm.
• Hockey Players Are Skating On Thin Ice.
• Hockey-Loving Couple Stickhandles Through Their Differences.
• I Am Don Cherry's Love Child.
• Pocket Table Top Hockey Review.
• Teemu Selanne Diving Through Hockey Playoffs.
• Toronto Maple Leafs Win Stanley Cup In Video Game.
• Useful Tips For Vancouver Canucks Bandwagon Jumpers.
• Vancouver Canucks Hockey Team Photo.

Human Interest

• Assembling A Barbecue Doesn't Require A Rocket Scientist.
• Babyproof Your Home With The Baby Ball.
• Bingo Lover Dabs And Dabbles.
• Boyfriend's Chances For Love Are Stuffed.
• Chia Pets Are Not Toys.
• Coffee-Crazed Consumer Cuts Caffeine Consumption.
• Con Artist Takes A Stab At An Honest Living.
• Courtesy Car Drivers Deserve A Little More Respect.
• Dog Doo Disposal Is A Delightful Diversion.
• I Scream For Vanilla Ice Cream.
• Less-Than-Lethal Weapons Can Still Pack A Punch.
• Mountain Men Tired Of Being Stereotyped.
• Planning Your Day With The Cable Guy.
• Plumber's Crack Unclogs The Mind.
• Pool Noodles Preying On Poor Swimmers.
• Public Storage Lockers Make Excellent Low-Cost Homes.
• Putting The Leash On Child Choker Chains.
• Pyrophobics Get Fired Up For Camping Trip.
• Saint Patrick's Day Means Shamrock Shakes And Whiskey.
• Science Fiction And Fantasy Don't Mix.
• The Problem With Drinking Alone.
• This Man's Home IS His Castle.
• Tricking The Wife Into Baking Will Only Get You Burned.
• Used Drug Needles Are Worth Cash.
• Who Took My Fuzzy Dice?.

Humor

• A Monty Python Skit That Never Materialized.
• Girl Germs Plague School Playground.
• Journal Entries Of A Vegetarian Cannibal.
• My Obsession With Death.
• On The Subject Of Monsters Under The Bed.
• Setting The Standards For Refrigerator Art.
• Strawberry Cream-Filled Wafers: Food Or Building Material?.
• There's Gnome Place Like Home.
• Worst Halloween Costumes.

Politics

• Americans Sucking Canada Dry.
• It's Time Quebec Started Using The Canadian Dollar.
• Legalized Kidnapping Is An Idea Worth Ransoming.
• Registration Policy Helps Identify Potential Homeland Threats.
• Saddam Hussein Execution Causes Surge In Album Sales.
• Star Trek Phasers Fall Outside Gun Control Laws.

Popular Culture

• Brain Slug Helps Rosie O'Donnell Gain New Respect.
• CSI: Miami's David Caruso Fighting With Eyewear.
• I Am Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Daddy.
• I Might Still Have A Chance With Pamela Anderson.
• J.K. Rowling To Kill Everyone Off In Final Potter Book.
• Jimmy Smits Sets New Standards For Hispanic American Actors.
• Man Cursed With Good Looks.
• Michael Richards N-Word Comedy Writing Challenge.
• New Drink Engineered To Quench Your Thirst.
• Quitting Cold Turkey.
• Santa Claus Under Investigation For Using Child Elven Labour.
• The Chia Spock Is An Enterprising New Toy.
• What Has Happened To Wholesome Television Cartoon Violence?.
• Who Are The Wooden People Of Robax?.
• Why Television Was A Better Babysitter.
• Wil Wheaton Wins World Series Of Strip Poker.

Religion

• 999 Is NOT The Number Of The Beast.
• Catholics Still Celebrating Holy See Victory.
• DaVinci Code Author Faces Second Lawsuit.
• Eating At McDonald's Is A Religious Experience.
• God Grants Minister's Wish For Letter Of Reference.
• Image Of Virgin Mary Appears On Computer Screen.
• Signboard Sermons Serves True Believer.
• The Philosophy And Ideology Of IKEA.
• This Is God's Country.
• Vatican Cardinals Prepared To Withdraw Services.

Science/Technology

• A Burning Desire To Get Laser Eye Surgery.
• Even MORE Trouble With Tribbles.
• From Superman To Superfather.
• Harry Potter And The Order Of The iPhone.
• Jedi Knight Just In It To Meet Chicks.
• Lose Weight While You Sleep.
• NASA Installs Breathalyzers On Space Shuttles.
• Professor Stephen Hawking To Be Fired Into Space.
• Scientist Invents The Daylight Saving Time Machine.
• Solar Energy Is Draining Our Sun.
• The Science Of Sex And Time Travel.
• Things You Shouldn't Use Your Lightsaber For.
• What Would You Do With A Time Machine?.
• Why Canada Has Lighter Gravity.

Sports

• Canada Urges International Olympic Committee To Include More Canadian Sports.
• Golfers Grateful For Oversized Golf Hole.
• Lawn Bowling Is A Growing Sport.
• Man Chooses To Wear Bowling Shoes Outside The Alley.
• Motorcycle Training Wheels Make Easy Riders Of Everyone.
• Recharging The Tour de France With Electric Bikes.
• Video Golfer Ready To Compete In Real Golf.

World Issues

• Forest Workers Hate Those Damned Treehuggers.
• Indo-Canadian Meat Is The Top Choice Of New Delhi-catessens.
• Jenga Wood Block Knock-offs Topple Game Market.
• McDonald's Recalls Ship From Persian Gulf.
• Mechanical Turks Safeguard Turkey.
• Osama Bin Laden Threatens To Shave Beard.
• Osama Found!.
• President Bush Defends Spy Program.
• Wetting Yourself Over Water Conservation.

Funny Pictures

Funny Pictures

• Beer Bottle Christmas Tree.
• Canada Strikes Back.
• Canadian Beer Fridge.
• Canadian Hunter.
• Canadian Navy.
• Canadian PDA.
• Canadian Stop Sign.
• Canadian War Poster.
• Canadian Wedding.
• Disabled In Canada.
• New Canadian Stamp.
• Newfie Beer Mug.
• Nice Boobs Eh.
• Vancouver Canucks NEW Logo.
• Vancouver Canucks Pop Gun Logo.

Headlines

Headlines

• Headlines 01/08/2006.
• Headlines 01/16/2006.
• Headlines 01/23/2006.
• Headlines 01/30/2006.
• Headlines 02/06/2006.
• Headlines 02/13/2006.
• Headlines 02/16/2007.
• Headlines 02/20/2006.
• Headlines 03/05/2006.
• Headlines 04/04/2006.
• Headlines 04/19/2006.
• Headlines 04/22/2007.
• Headlines 05/13/2006.
• Headlines 05/20/2006.
• Headlines 05/23/2007.
• Headlines 06/21/2006.
• Headlines 07/31/2007.
• Headlines 12/08/2005.
• Headlines 12/23/2005.

Mailbag

Mailbag

• Canadian/American Relations.
• Insulting Tips For Beginners.
• So Drole The Con Of Man.
• Swimming With Sharks.
• Thou Shall Not Pass (wihout a passport).

News Bits

News Bits

• Arthur C. Clarke's Odyssey Is Over.
• Beaming Scotty's Ashes Into Space May Take Light Years.
• Britney Spears Shaves Self.
• Charlton Heston Warns Against Starbucks New Soylent Green Frappucino.
• Checkmate Declared On Chessmaster Bobby Fischer.
• David Hasselhoff Was Not Drunk I Tell You.
• Don Cherry Expected To Be Out Six Weeks With Sprained Thumb.
• Donald Trump Stars In New Star Trek Series.
• George Bush Promotes New Smartness Drug.
• Grey Cup Name To Be Sold.
• Have You Seen This Man?.
• Hobbit Movies May Restore Nerds Will To Live.
• I Just Need One More PC.
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus--So I Told Daddy.
• Joan Rivers Brought Out Of Cryogenic Stasis.
• Life Squeezed From Charmin's Mr. Whipple.
• Mats Sundin Holding Out For $14 Million In Canadian Tire Money.
• Mel Gibson's Mouth Is The Real Lethal Weapon.
• Mordor To Host 2012 Olympics.
• Muhammad Ali Cartoons Blow Up In Peoples Face.
• Naomi Campbell Suspended From Legion Of Supermodels.
• Paris Hilton Back To Being Jail Bait.
• Queen Elizabeth Turns Eighty.
• Roy Scheider Remembered.
• Sightless Teenage Prophet Foresees Allowance Raise.
• The Tragic Death Of Anna Nicole Smith.
• Toronto Chooses Itself Miss Center Of The Universe.
• Who Or What Is A Sanjaya Malakar?.

Reviews

Reviews

• Anonymous Blogging Let's You Speak Your Mind.
• Explore Canada With Timeshares.
• Midphase Review.
• Protect Yourself With Antivirus Software Before You Surf The Interweb.
• There Must Be Somewhere To Buy Used Panties.

Top Five...Plus Five More

Top Five Plus Five More

• Best Ways To Invade Canada.
• Broadway Shows We'd Like To See.
• If Celebrities Named Their Own Countries.
• Inappropriate Sports Franchise Names.
• Least Popular Video Games Ever.
• Most Incredible Theories From The Da Vinci Code Movie.
• New Terms I've Come Up With For Telling Lies.
• Popular Heavy Metal Pseudo-Names.
• Popular Torture Methods If My Brother Marty Was An Inquisitor.
• Positive Results From New Orleans Disaster.
• Questionable Drug Names The Pharmacies Won't Use.
• Rejected Beer Brands.
• Top Career Suggestions For Sanjaya Malakar.
• Top Excuses When Caught Looking At Porn.
• Top New Slogans For Microsoft Windows Vista.
• Top Reasons For Getting Fired At The Office Xmas Party.
• Top Terms For Asking For Sex At The Office.

Writers Club

Writers Club

• Conservative Party Shocker.
• Environmentalists Demand 50% Reduction.
• IKEA Offers Cost-Effective Home Solutions.
• Iraqis Erase Their Past.
• Israeli Pullout Causes Hardship.
• Microsoft Admits, “We Haven’t Got A Clue!”.
• Searching For Enlightenment.
• The Fall.
• The Salt Treaty.