Video Games Prepare Gamer For The Real Game
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| Video golfer Greg Hack is ready to try real golf. |
IN FRONT OF THE MONITOR– Greg Hack has been playing Tiger Woods PGA TOUR® 2007 on his PC almost non-stop since he purchased the golf simulating game from his local Electronics Boutique a few months ago. Greg, a long-time gamer, has now fine-tuned his computer golf skills to the point where he is a scratch video game golfer.
Because of Greg’s obvious success in the computer game, he is convinced he can make the leap…to real golf.
“I think I’m ready,” said Greg, who has been playing video golf games since he got a pirated version of Links 386 in 1994. “Thirteen years of constant video golf gaming has shaped me for getting out on the green. Like the virtual Ernie Els and Justin Leonard in my video game, I’m certain to be a natural.”
Greg, who may actually be allergic to grass, has honed and sharpened his skills to the point that he can judge video distances without using the automatic club selection, he can consistently time his backswing to achieve maximum power, and he is almost perfect at adjusting his stroke direction when compensating for reported wind velocities. And Greg is so good he almost never uses the laser guiding or “best shot” computations when he putts.
“With my months studying and practicing the game on my home computer, as well as my buddy Jack’s Playstation 2, I’ve learned to read the rendered greens, I’m able to correctly select the proper clubs based on the distances to the tee shown on the screen, and I’ve worked on my mechanics to the point that I hardly ever overswing with my mouse or gamepad ,” said Greg, who has already ordered some authentic Greg Norman golf apparel from on online shopping store. “It’s this attention to the finer details of the video game which I believe will make me a great golfer–and not just of the virtual sport.”
Truthfully, Greg has never owned a real set of golf clubs, nor has he ever set foot in a driving range. But he once scored a modest 3-under par on the 18-hole Pirate’s Plunder Course at the Funderland Mini-Golf Centre when he was eleven.
“When I look back on it, the mini-golf was probably the incentive I needed to go the extra mile, he said. “To hit the sweet spot and go over the little ramp and into the clown’s mouth–Âperhaps that was where I first developed my keen perception of the unity of mind, theory and kinetic experience.”
Greg’s successes in tournament play, match games, and on the digital practice range have convinced him that golf on a “real” golf course cannot be that difficult.
“I’ve won several simulated tournaments at Pebble Beach, Augusta, and many of the other challenging world-class greens,” he said, “I’m already familiar with the courses and all the little tricks and hazards you need to know about them. Those programmers have done a great job in providing all the information a “real” golfer will ever need to know. Of course, the video game doesn’t have Sunset Park, the local executive course I’ll be playing at, but it’s not going to be more difficult than, say, Nairn Dunbar in Scotland is it?”
“I can’t see real golf being that different than Tiger Woods PGA TOUR® 2007,” said Greg. “After all, golf is just a game, right? I mean, how hard can it be to hit–Âinstead of click–a little white ball into a little round hole? Didn’t Corey Lidle learn to fly using Microsoft Flight Simulator?”
The Toque is the world leader in Canadian humour, parody, and satire! Of course you realize that this piece of satire is fictitious, and only intended for entertainment purposes. Copyright The Toque (this year).
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