Microsoft Chairman DOS Not Even Closely Resemble Local Man
 |
| Phil Gates doesn’t see any resemblance between himself and the founder of Microsoft. |
REDMOND, WASHINGTON– Phil Gates is a man who is struggling to hold onto his own identity. Phil, a 47-year-old Seattle area resident maintains that he is not related to namesake Bill Gates, and he is starting to feel the pressure of being compared to the Microsoft guru.
Phil–who admittedly uses Windows–works as a software consultant for the Altwest group, in Seattle, and makes a respectable $32,000/year. But despite his own accomplishments, people continue to draw comparisons between Phil and his wealthy look-alike.
“Where do people find this stuff–the Internet?” asked Phil, who once programmed a crude operating system in assembly language using only 9 keystrokes for his TRS-80 in 1979. “I don’t look anything like [Bill Gates].”
Wherever Phil goes in his Redmond neighbourhood, he gets “recognized” as the richest man in the state of Washington. Phil, who always wears a suit and prefers his chrome-framed glasses to contact lenses, fails to see any resemblance.
“Bill is thin…and his hair is always foppish,” said Phil in a broken, off-pitch voice. “I’m much more muscular…and my hair is…kempt. I’m pretty sure I’m at least half an inch taller.”
Phil thinks that he looks more like a brainy Christopher Walken.
“I wouldn’t mind that comparison,” admitted Phil shyly. “Chris [Walken] gets the chicks. I could use some of that action.” (Phil used the fact that he was single and Bill Gates was married as another part of his argument.)
“When I think about it though, I bet he would be a bachelor if it weren’t for all that money…and fame…and business acumen.”
Phil–who by coincidence shares many of Bill Gates’ interests and passions–once wrote a solitaire program in pure machine language, but he doesn’t brag about it.
“Well…I always have been good with computers,” said Phil quietly. “Come to think of it, I am adopted…and I do get angry whenever I see a Macintosh computer or I hear about antitrust suits…I suppose…it is possible…maybe…”
Phil did have one confession: “In the Southcenter mall the other day, some geek wanted me to autograph his copy of Technology Masterminds. I was so taken aback I signed it without thinking.”
Phil’s friend Gary Ellison was curious about the whole thing.
“Hey, maybe Phil’s a clone,” considered Gary. “I’m sure Bill Gates is used to people making copies by now.”
Related posts:
