I've been getting a lot of email lately...okay, I got five emails...three of them from my mom with pictures of cats in aprons and bonnets, asking me what the H-E-Double Allen Wrenches I've been doing. Where are the witty stories, the cunning crafted tales, and the crazy columns that Toque readers came come to lust after like a solid milk chocolate Jennifer Aniston statuette?

Well, it's dreadful to say, but we got caught up in--dare we say it--writing advertising copy, promoting other websites, and other un-Toquely pursuits. I know--it's a betrayal. It's like selling your sister's diary to the boys at school, trading Wayne Gretzky to the Los Angeles Kings, or secretly wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs t-shirt underneath your Vancouver Canucks jersey.

But, after a long discussion with our original Toque team, well, actually it was just one writer over a quick coffee at Starbucks, we decided it was time for a makeover...and also that we should do something with the Toque website.

So we prettied ourselves up and set to the task of updating the site, which we have done whole-heartedly half-assed, and we hope in the coming days (wasn't that a Ron Jeremy film?) to be able to restore The Toque's youthful vitality, renew its vigor, and maybe even scribble out a few stories. If there's anything funny to write about these days that doesn't involve scandalized black athletes, drunken celebrities, or idiotic politicians, we probably won't write it!

So we're going to open the funny floodgates, tap the satire spigots, and put on our woollen thinking caps and see if we can spin a few more yarns, just because my mom told me to. Just don't expect to see a funny cats section any time soon.