I was flipping through my moderate array of cable television channels (not because my thumb needed the exercise, but because sometimes random images are more entertaining than actual TV), when I came across what appeared to be an eerie cross between improvisational comedy and an elimination talent competition. It was CBC, which I usually only tune in to for hockey emergencies, and the program was called "The Second City's Next Comedy Legend".

What held my thumb from progressing to the next channel was a strange image of funnyman Dave Thomas (of SCTV fame) sitting at a desk writing notes, and curiously, NOT BEING FUNNY. Sitting next to him was a short-haired woman with the largest set of teeth I'd ever seen, and what looked like the guy who plays J. Jonah Jameson in the Spider-man movies.

This odd panel of Canadian personality-types was judging a version of Canada's Next Model For Improv Artists, only it was REALLY, really bad!

Now I've always loved improv and Theatresports, and in fact, I think it should be an Olympic event...however, this terribly un-hilarious program left me wondering what happened to the next generation of Canadian comedy improv geniuses.

Maybe I'm "old school" for saying this, and maybe I'm "old school" for typing "old school", but I remember a time when improv was funny. I remember The Vancouver TheatreSports League, and I remember some pretty talented individuals like the "No Name Players" (Pat McKenna, Jay Ono, Janice Ungaro, Rich Elwood) that performed at Punchlines in Gastown (downtown Vancouver). I also remember the hilarious cast of "Star Trick, The Musical", featuring some more VERY funny ensembly-type characters like Gary Jones, Gerry McAteer, Dean Haglund, Ellie Harvey, Ian Boothby, et al again.

From what I remember, which is less and less each year, that shit was funny.

I hung out on Granville Island on Saturday nights to participate in "Scared Scriptless", a wacky midnight improv show, and even spent more than a few Sundays attending workshops at the Back Alley Theatre with Jay Ono, and Roman Danylo, a Calgarian who seems to be holding the torch for those "old school" improv artists. If he's looking to pass that torch on, he might be waiting a long time.

But I watched in pain as Dave Thomas and his fellow judges (big teeth and the editor of The Daily Bugle) critiqued these gawd-awful performances by a group (don't call them an ensemble) of young would-be Second City performers. I was half-expecting to hear J. Jonah say "I want those pictures of Spider-man on my desk by 5 o'clock or you're all fired!!!"

At the end of this painful show, the whole group walked off the stage in some orchestrated television coup, and had been in the audience I surely would've walked out before them.

While it might not be fair for me to judge 15 minutes of poorly-performed televised comedy, the format of this "The Second City's Next Comedy Legend" program was unrelentingly unfunny and highly derivative. It was BAD!! It was badder than Mad Bad McBad, winner of last year's Baddest...oh never mind.

Seriously, I never want to see Dave Thomas being serious again. I'd rather sit through a "Grace Under Fire" marathon than watch him berate stage performers. I almost wanted to take a flame to my Bob and Doug Mackenzie "Great White North" diorama, and melt the entire set, model-sized beer coolers and all, I was so upset.

Please, please take this show off the air, and put on some re-runs of "Air Farce" or something. This "Second Shitty" production made my funnybone feel like it had osteoporosis.