Floyd Barber, Motivational Warehouse Supervisor
Well, if it isn’t Captain Slacker, defender of the rights of the lethargic, pretender of work, and all around superstupor. Well mister, your superpowers aren’t going to work on me. I’ve got a pocket full of kryptonite and you are in a pit of super shit.
What is it with your generation? Do authority figures, such as myself, cramp your colon so much that you’re forced to shit twisters? Well you better clean the shit out of your ears now, because you’ll soon be too poor to buy cotton swabs.
Right now your job is hanging by a thread, and I’m holding the scissors. You’re catching my shit without a mitt, and it’s starting to stink. With a little bit of effort you’d be able to rid yourself of the stench.
You should consider yourself lucky that I’m not always on your back. I let you warehouse people pretty much have the run of the place–when you’re doing your job. If things are going smoothly, I’m as noticeable as piss in lemonade. But slackers like you make it difficult.
Let me give you a little piece of advice, as I was once a warehouse worker, and I may understand your resentment: wipe the shit-eating grin off of your face, and put on the mask of professionalism. This way, you’ll continue to get your paycheques, and I won’t have to see your slacking face in my supervisor’s office again. Good day.
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