I don't know why you're laughing son. You can wipe that smile off your face right now mister, because I'm not laughing. You think this is some sort of joking matter?

Okay Mr. Funny McFarlane, I'm telling you right now, I'm not going to put up with your shit much longer. Oh, you might think you're getting away with murder, but in Barber state, I'm the governor, and I ain't in a mood for granting pardons. You don't think I'm serious? Look at this face, son. Pure granite. You better believe I'm serious.

Oh, you still think that this is some sort of joke? Do I look like some sort of comedian to you? Is there a sign on my back that says I'm a funny guy?

You know, I can be freakin' Houdini if I have to. I can make that smirk disappear. Don't think that I'm kidding around here, pretty boy.

Listen Noah, you clean up your shit or I'll go Biblical on your ass. I'll make it rain down shit for forty days and forty nights.

Maybe all this fooling around is second nature to you. You know, in my day, we worked for a living, and when we got our paychecks, we said "thank you." But your generation doesn't care about things like responsibility, do you? You like to talk the shit. Well, I'm the one who's talking now. And I'm saying to you that that shit ain't funny. Just consider yourself lucky that I don't come down on you harder than a hail of turds in a concrete shitstorm. Because I can and I will.

We're beginning to understand each other, right? Good.

I'm a patient man, but remember boy, that I'll come down on you faster than Rosie O'Donnell on a box of Krispy Kremes.