How Can Getting A Vasectomy Be Such A Casual Experience?
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| I could meditate for hours, but I would still be filled with fear at the thought of getting a vasectomy. |
I just want to say that I am not comfortable with the idea of getting a vasectomy. Oh, as if there is a man in the world who is at ease about having his scrotum worked on like a telephone service box.
Why am I so terrified, yet everyone else seems to be so matter-of-fact about this clinical procedure?
Seriously, the calm exterior of the men in the waiting rooms of these clinics can only be a thin veneer of peace covering up deeper layers of sheer terror.
Come on, you’re getting your sack opened up so some unknown physician can work on the pipes of your genital plumbing! How can you give the appearance of composure when in ten minutes your private parts are going to be tampered with like illegal cable?
How many hours of “Kung Fu” did you have to watch to learn how to meditate yourself into this mental state of nirvana? Is your relief at disabling the ability to procreate really mellowing you to the point that you have no fears about this “casual” out-patient surgery?
I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I’m as frightened as a picnic basket at a bear convention.
Underneath your masks of quiet calm, you must be in total fear of your manhood. There is no way that your projections of fearless fortitude reflect your inner zen. You don’t want to show it, but I bet you are all as scared as hobbits at a Star Trek convention!
Honestly, I just don’t see the reason to present myself as a model of confidence and quiet dignity when in a few minutes some doctor is going to open me up like a bomb case in a Hollywood movie. “Hmmm…do I cut the red wire or the green wire? Chief?”
I am having serious second thoughts, and my visage is reflecting that. I’m not the picture of poise like some Botox poster model. I’m afeared, and I’m not going to hide it behind behind a pretense of courage.
But speaking of courage…yes, now I think I am beginning to understand the true secret of your serenity. You want to introduce me to your good friend Mr. Daniels, first name “Jack”!
(three minutes later) Now who said getting a vasectomy was such a big deal anyhow?
This vasectomy article, which was painful to even write, has been brought to you by the writing professionals of The Toque, the world leader in uncomfortable male humour
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