Skin Tag Remedies Are All Good–For Those Who Have Ever Heard Of Skin Tags
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| A skin tag is NOT part of the HTML markup code. |
I recently watched a television commercial promoting a sensational new medical product that promised to rid one’s body of unwanted skin tags. Woo hoo! Alright, no more skin tags! Umm…what the hell is a skin tag??!
“Skin tag?” Is it a game that friends might play in the nude? “Hey, wanna play a game of skin tag? No, I don’t know the rules either, but I promise not to tag you anywhere too personal. Skin tag–you’re it!”
A tattoo with numbers on it might be considered a skin tag. One day everyone on the planet will have bar codes on the backs of their necks, “skin tags” to help the government identify everyone and determine who are the real terrorists. Homeland Security probably already has a significant budget for skin tag research and development.
Maybe it’s another term the skater kids are using for road rash; “dude, that was some serious airtime you tripped on that last flighter…but now look at that major skin tag you got from planting your face in the pavement. Ouch!”
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| I posted this picture of a cute little mushroom because skin tag images are too disgusting to publish. |
No, apparently a skin tag is a little nub of flesh that sticks out of your arm or neck like an undeveloped penis, and the removal product is designed to freeze or burn the little skin pecker off of your body. Like some miracle doctor-in-a-box, skin tag removal products can exorcise the skin demons from your body without needing to call on the divine powers of Jesus, although you might still cry out His name when you apply the high-intensity miniature soldering gun to your affected area.
I am not certain why the advertisers chose to emphasize the word “unwanted” in their product promotion, as it would seem unnecessary to presume that people have “grown attached” to their skin tags. Are there people who cherish their skin tags dearly, like floppy flesh-toned friends that can be stroked and petted whenever they feel lonely? Everyone needs a little sweet nubbin’ in their life, but honestly, warty growths should not be a primary source of that affection.
What next, the home vasectomy kit?
“Say, are you having problems with unwanted bastards? Try Snip Away, the personal reproduction suppression system.”
This flabby attempt at skin tag humour is brought to you by The Toque, the website that doesn’t know when not to publish gross, disgusting medical humour
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