Advice from Helena Aunde-Bague
Ahh, the New Years spirit. It is so delightful for you my friends to be showing up to my annual house of festivity and resolutions. But of course you did not have to bring me any special gifts–I would hope already that you sent me something special and expensive for the Christmas.
Forgive me my precious sweets for those of you I forgot to invite you this year. It is only that you do not fit in with this society of people, and not that I love you even less than your mother. You see, it is for you to strive and become more popular, that you try to get to come to these parties. I am saving you now from certain embarrassment, when a very important guest were to ask you about the salad forks, or the right cracker to put on with the pate.
It is you, who are close in my heart, that I think of when I know you are at home watching the Disney with your very noisy kids. You made a very brave choice to be having these children to early in your life when you are so young and beautiful. I am sure the stretching of your bosom and your petite waist will be back to its normal sexy shape in no time for sure.
Of course, you know you will probably be more comfortable with your husband’s friends coming over to watch the hockey night, and scratch their fannies with saltines and pepperoni sticks. It is you my dear that I have the envy for. I could not possibly be comfortable all night with the swillers of beer, and the making of belchy noises from my stomache. You are truly lucky for these rewards.
So adieu my petite little flowers, and I wish you the best of my advice for the happy new year.
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