Canadian Olympic Hockey Player Missing Inaction
VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA– Do you know the whereabouts of Todd Bertuzzi? The six-foot-three, two-hundred and forty-five pound power forward was last seen headed to Italy in early February.
Todd, who is thirty-one, was supposed to show up in Turin, for the 2006 Winter Olympic Games, but was never seen on the ice.
Todd’s friends and teammates warn that he may have lost his sense of direction, and if you are out looking for him, he is not likely be seen around a net. Also, Todd will tend to avoid large groups, and people carrying cameras, video equipment, or microphones.
Todd, who lives in Sudbury Ontario, was last seen wearing a red and white tracksuit, with the word “Canada” stitched across the front, and had on a cute red and white toque. Do not be afraid to approach Todd, as he is not aggressive, and wouldn’t hit anything–even if you were wearing a helmet or carrying a hockey stick.
If you have seen Todd Bertuzzi, please contact the Vancouver Canucks Hockey Club, who first reported him missing last October.
This story about Todd Bertuzzi and the Canadian Men’s Olympic Hockey Team is brought to you by The Toque,
the world leader in hockey parody, olympic satire, and other Team Canada humour.
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