CanadianaLumberjacking Fells Other Canadian Education Programs

article thumbnaiFocus on Canada's Institutions: Timber University tops the arborist colleges TIMBER UNIVERSITY-- In the resource-rich nation of Canada, forestry continues to be one of the leading industries.In fact, Canadian research claims that forestry currently ranks fourth, next to mining, fishing, and iceberg harvesting.And while the next generation of bright, young students is developing...
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Daily Satire, Parody, Humour, & Other Marginally Funny Stuff
Get Your Smoke On
Reviews

I've never considered myself a smoker, mostly due to the lack of any particular type of smoking. I always found myself more of a gum chewer, although I had been known to roll up a pack of Popeye candy cigarettes into my white t-shirt sleeve from time to time. Now I agree, everyone should have a hobby, but if you are going to smoke, I'd highly recommend choosing something slightly more healthy, like the kind of tobacco alternative you're more likely to find at one of those herbal smoke shops.

Now, if you are looking for an exotic smoking experience, and trying to get away from "traditional" tobacco products, then you would certainly benefit from shopping at one of these herbal alternative tobacco smoke shops. Whether you're concerned about the long-term health effects from cigarettes, you don't want to associated yourself with tar and nicotine, or you just think that there are better choices when you want to smoke, these online smoke shops can provide you with other experiences.



 
I Have A Lot To Learn About Horseracing
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Don't Bet On Me To Pick The Winning Horses

With the recent upset at the Kentucky Derby, the elimination of the Vancouver Canucks from the NHL playoffs, and the upcoming Cloverdale Rodeo, my (short) attention has briefly turned to horses, horseracing, and harness racing (harness racing is actually still horses racing, not the harnesses themselves). And with that focus on the ponies, I also focus on my wallet, and how much money I can actually afford to spend before I learn any lessons about betting on horses without understanding a single thing about the sport. While I would ordinarily just pick the opposite of my brother-in-law, or pick a horse based on any connection to its name, I really should take the time to figure out how horses are handicapped (not that type of handicapped), and how they determine things like the Preakness Stakes odds.



 
Learning Lessons From Web Hosting Experiences
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Relying On Reliable Information To Find Reliable Web Hosting

Finding reliable hosting for your website can be a real challenge, especially when you're trying to save some money on your costs. But the danger of finding hosting that is so cheap it's too-good-to-be-true, is the fact that it is too good, because you'll often come across hosting resellers who are selling someone else's services, and are very shortsighted when it comes to offering proper webhosting services. It doesn't really count as saving money if you do business with flybynighthosting.com and they are nowhere to be found two weeks after you set up your site with their servers. And sure, you could sign up with one of the "big" providers, but you might end up paying for more than you need. And when you're trying to squeeze an income from your blog or your niche site, you might not need all that power that those big guns provide, especially when your site doesn't need all that fancy backend stuff.

What you really should do is learn more about web hosting from a portal site that lives and breathes hosting, offering news and reviews, consumer reports, special offers, and supporting testimonials from people who are actually using real hosting from real web hosts.



 
Park Plaque Plague
Editors Desk

This type of plaque can't be brushed away

ImageI took my wife and kids to the park the other day (the pub was being renovated), and I was more than a little surprised at all the frickin' plaques attached to every bench, fountain, garden path, and trail. Holy pine cones, every single tree, shrub, and rose bush had an embossed copper plaque placed in front of it, half-buried in a granite stone. There were so many freakin' dedications and memorials that I thought we had mistakenly visited the local cemetary!

Now I'm all about planting trees (except in the Arctic, where it's just too much work), and I'm all over the idea of having people make donations to parks in order to pay for playground equipment (although those solid gold monkeybars are a little excessive). But seriously people, I don't need to read about this loving husband or that dedicated wife every time I wander by a freshly planted spruce sapling (although I do have all the Spruce Sapling albums from the 70's)! If I wanted to know that John Smith died in 2007, leaving behind three wonderful children, I'd save the clippings from the obituary section of the local newspaper or call Mrs. Smith to ask her how wonderful those three kids really are (I don't believe everything I read). I don't need to be reminded of it every time I take a drink from the water fountain. Do you think John Smith wants to be remembered for supplying chlorinated drink water to thirsty park patrons? I'm sure John was a great man, a loyal husband, and a wonderful father (subject to appropriate factfinding--sorry to keep pestering you Mrs. Smith), but I don't want to think of a dead guy when I'm rehydrating, thank you very much.



 
Who Has The Best Online Casino Reviews
Editors Desk

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my online poker face

I've never considered myself much of a poker player, outside of my circle of friends (inside the circle, I'm a player of Hellmuthian proportions). I play poker tournaments online while I watch hockey, I play cash games when I'm watching Family Guy, and I pay very little attention to the habits and tendencies of other players. And if my machine didn't beep when it was my turn, I'd probably fold more hands than a child labourer in a glove factory.

I'm certain if I paid more attention to all the free rolls and the bonuses and all the offers that popped up or scrolled off my screen, I would have more funds in online poker account, and have fewer needs to deposit funds in order to play. Hell, I bet (and I do more than I should) that if I took the time to read a review or two, I would be able to maximize bonus offers, earn a better return on my betting investments, and maybe even win a free t-shirt or two. But fortunately what I lack in gambling acumen I make up for in luck, and despite not really knowing anything about online casinos, I still manage to win the odd pot.



 

The Toque: Good Canadian Humour

There is no better place than BetUS.com to bet on sports online. With the Winter Olympics coming to Canada next year, sports betting is getting more awareness on a rapid pace amongst Canadians. Why hold back when you can join in on the action and possibly earn BIG!

Editors Desk

Park Plaque Plague

article thumbnailThis type of plaque can't be brushed away I took my wife and kids to the park the other day (the pub was being renovated), and I was more than a little surprised at all the frickin' plaques attached...
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Get Your Smoke On

I've never considered myself a smoker, mostly due to the lack of any particular type of smoking. I always found myself more of a gum chewer, although I had been known to roll up a pack of Popeye candy cigarettes into my white t-shirt sleeve from time to time. Now I agree, everyone should have a hobby, but if you are going to smoke, I'd highly recommend choosing something slightly more healthy, like the kind of tobacco alternative you're more likely to find at one of those herbal smoke shops. Now, if you are looking for an exotic smoking experience, and trying to get away from...
Read More

I Have A Lot To Learn About Horseracing

Don't Bet On Me To Pick The Winning Horses With the recent upset at the Kentucky Derby, the elimination of the Vancouver Canucks from the NHL playoffs, and the upcoming Cloverdale Rodeo, my (short) attention has briefly turned to horses, horseracing, and harness racing (harness racing is actually still horses racing, not the harnesses themselves). And with that focus on the ponies, I also focus on my wallet, and how much money I can actually afford to spend before I learn any lessons about betting on horses without understanding a single thing about the sport. While I would ordinarily just...
Read More

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All of the material on The Toque is humour and satire. It is intended to poke fun at current events, world culture, and the human condition.

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All other stories are presented in The Toque for their humorous value and are not true. If one of the stories happens to become fact, it should be considered a lucky guess, and not as a result of any inside information. It's really all just made up. If our story happens to parallel any other parodied or satired story, that too should be considered coincidence. There are seven billion of us on the planet. Just keep in mind that Canadians did not reshingle the Egyptian pyramids, and we do not have the secret to telekinesis.

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