Life Insurance Never Benefits The One Who’s Paying For It
Life insurance is (as I have now learned), is only for the living, but specifically, not you, the contributor to the life insurance scheme.
When I started my career with my more-stable-than-my-last-job, the compensation and benefits person advised me that I was eligible for death benefits. I said: “Great! I’m insured against death! I’m immortal!”
Then she corrected me and advised me (properly this time) that death benefits was not protecting me from death, but rather it was a form of benefits for my family–in order to pay for the costs of my funeral and other death-related arrangements…flowers and candy and tissues I suppose…lots and lots of tissues.
But I was confused now (but still alive at this point thankfully) about the differences between death insurance cover and life insurance cover. I mean, because it was now clear to me that the death benefits were in the event of my arguable and eventual death, that certainly life insurance must be in support and benefit of my continued existence in “life”.
Again, the comp/bens staff member politely (less politely this time) pointed out to me that the life insurance coverage offered by the employer was again to be paid out to my beneficiary (ie. not me) in the eventual and inevitable event of my not continuing to live.
So, not only I do I not benefit from the death benefits (however it is plainly obvious that the florists, candy suppliers and tissue manufacturers will profit), I neither benefit from the life insurance, as again I will have to be dead for those to come into effect.
It seems that there is no continuing-to-live-and-get-paid-for-it benefits available at my place of employment, and the only way I am entitled to any remuneration is if I actually continue to work, which does not seem like a benefit in itself. And for every day that I continue to work, a certain sum of money will be deducted from my paychecks to cover the expenses that I will not care about after I’m dead, because the dead are apparently not so concerned about these trivial life-related issues.
It seems like the life insurance (and death insurance) people have this worked out quite nicely, and I wonder how many of themselves are actually insured for such eventualities, or if they just chuckle at the life insurance contributors and wonder how they think they’re going to spend all that money?!
This brief opinion about life insurance and death benefits, is brought to you by the still-living writing staff of The Toque, Canada’s leader among living, breathing, Canadian humorists.
Related posts:
