| Pool Noodles Preying On Poor Swimmers |
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Pool Noodles Are A Plastic Threat To Public Pools
Little Susie is struggling for her life, because as you can see, wrapped around her fragile neck is a not-so-innocent plastic play-toy known as a pool noodle. The pool noodle, which looks like a long flexible foam strand of spaghetti, was invented as a playful water toy. But much like lawn darts, archery kits, and acid-filled Super Soakers, pool noodles are about as safe as cyanide-flavoured Kool-Aid. They look innocent enough when they're dry, but toss one in a pool, and it will float around like a brightly-coloured watersnake looking for prey. And like the mallard duck who gets its head caught in a plastic 6-pack holder, a child is defenseless against the flexible constricting coils of a pool noodle. The more the kid struggles, the tighter the foamy knot becomes. Soon the plastic garrotte is tighter than a twist-tie on a bag of bread, blocking the child's airway. Before you know it, the pool noodle has taken another victim.
Many of these aquatic accidents could be prevented, but parents are too busy suntanning to keep their eyes on their frolicking children, and lifeguards have their attentions too focused on breasts and bikini lines to notice the occasional thrashing sounds of a strangling youth. It only takes is a second for a child's throat to become entangled in the deadly grip of a pool noodle. If we aren't going to ban these deadly snake-like toys, then we should at least bring an awareness of these plastic pythons that are just waiting to wrap themselves around the neck of a vulnerable young swimmer. Perhaps prevention is the key. We could fasten thick iron bands to the children's necks to protect them while they swim, or equip them with sharp boxcutter knives so that they could cut themselves free of the soft spongy grasp of the pool noodle.
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