Hi Jon,

That was a very good attempt at an insult, but let me suggest how you could have made that stronger and funnier.

#1
A greasy spoon is a nice idea. It implies that I probably work for minimum wage in a go-nowhere profession at an unhealthy location. But "greasy spoon" is an outdated term that many people may not understand. I would suggest that you use a more modern reference, such as McDonald's, Burger King, or Appleby's for greater effect.

#2
The part where you say "you aren't fit to write Niven's order" is a little confusing. It takes a leap between customer and service-worker, suggesting that I would have creative control over what Mr. Niven would be eating at this dining establishment. Also, it is hard to presume that the intended target is a writer. Instead, writing "you aren't fit to write Niven's obituary" would be more appropriate. It would fulfill the requirements of the target being a writer, but not a very good one, as an obituary writer might be considered the least credible in that field.

#3
The "work nights" part of the insult isn't really necessary. Most of the strength of the insult would still be in the suggestion that I was a waiter/waitress. The word "work" in itself would even be counter-productive. It suggests that even though I am employed in an entry level job, I am still enthusiastic about doing the best I can. Just leave it out.

Jon, I hope you find this information useful, and good luck with your future insults.

--Editor