| Charlton Heston Warns Against Starbucks New Soylent Green Frappucino |
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The Seattle-based company believes that this new high-energy, miracle cold coffee drink will become instantly popular with thirsty coffee drinkers, but wizened actor Charlton Heston warns that the drink holds a dark and dangerous secret. Although local barristas are eagerly promoting the sweet summer drink as light, frosty, and nutritious, the mega movie star is adamant that people need to know the real truth about the green blended beverage. "Are you people mad!" shouted Heston from outside a café in North Hollywood. "Soylent Green fraps are people! You're drinking people!" But despite Heston's desperate, frantic attempts to bring awareness to the public about the shocking liquid truth, only a few Starbucks patrons seemed even mildly concerned about the drink's main ingredient. One customer took a long hard look at his Soylent Green frappucino, took a small sip... and simply shrugged. |
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