New Drug Developed For The Embetterment Of Mankind

ON YOUR DRUG STORE SHELF-- George W. Bush has given the presidential seal of approval to a new pharmaceutical product, Oxy-Moron, a miracle wonder drug developed to eliminate idiocy, stupidity, imbecility, and other moronic symptoms of unsmartedness.

This new "smart drug", developed by super-intelligent, pharmacy company explorationalists, may replace the need for a proper education--if applied properly.

President Bush, who realizes that not all Americans have had the opportunities to embetter themselves, fully supports the distribution of Oxy-Moron and other soon-to-be released generic equivalents.

Bush has always dreamed of making America a more literate country and a "hopefuller" country, and with smartening drugs like Oxy-Moron, perhaps someday his dream may be realamized.

While President Bush openly endorses the new smart drug, he is still encouraging the nation's children to stay in school. "Because," said Bush, "reading is the basics for all learning. You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

The president recently spoke at the opening of a new Washington DC pharmacy to promote edumacation and smartivity.

"Stupidity is the poison," said Bush, in front of a supportive crowd. "And Oxy-Moron is the anecdote."

This story about President Bush and Oxy-Moron is brought to you by The Toque,
the world leader in political parody, satire, and other George W. Bush humor.