TORONTO-- Once more, the world is focused on Ontario's largest city, as Toronto has again given itself the title of

Miss Center Of The Universe.

For the twelfth consecutive year, the prententious, narcissistic Canadian city declared itself the winner, beating out other self-serving cities such as Paris, Milan, and Rome.

"We just knew we were going to win," said Toronto, not even pretending to be surprised. "We were confident, almost to the point of arrogance. And it's great to be recognized for this achievement, but we know we got what we deserved."

With this self-gratifying award, Toronto continues to portray itself as being the "only town that matters."

"We just knew that the best city won," said Toronto, amidst a large crowd of admiring Torontonians. "But really, it's the people of Toronto that make me as big as I am. Go Leafs!"

In the event that Toronto cannot fulfill its aloofish duties, the first runner-up, Prague, will assume the title.