Sea Tales from Old Pete
I remember the banana blockade back in aught six. I was just a young lad working as the apple boy on the fair bottle schooner known as the Simone Saez. The Americans had a trade embargo going on against the Dutch protectorate, the Butter Churn Islands, and we were stuck in the middle of it, hauling 200 tons of Brazilian breadfruit.
Johnny Spaniard, a Frenchman, was our captain, and he had the good sea sense to avoid conflict with the Yanks. But the Dutch needed their cargo, and we needed the to sell it to afford that new steering bridle for the ship.
Johnny had an idea to get past the fleet (twelve it was I think) of Yankee Doodles, twin-masted scuttle boats with enough cannon power to sink Nelson’s ego. Johnny figured the best way past the American armada would be to give them the Welshman’s oar, a diversionary tactic popular during the Battle of Cork.
Well, the Yanks bought the lure like a Greek prince with a tuna gun, and we were able to make port without losing so much as a folded wharf canvas. I won’t say I wasn’t a little bit scared of the whole adventure, what with me just being a tadpole, and not knowing the difference between a piper’s pole and a casting bridge. But in the end, I think I learned a little bit more about Lady Ocean, and her sweet songs of salt candy.
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