Chia Spock. More fun than a pinch to the neck.

Chia Spock boldly goes where no toys have gone before. Easy to care for, and simple to maintain, Chia Spock will provide hours of amusement for your little Starfleet cadet.

Chia Spock is the logical gift for your young Star Trek fan. Almost as much fun as a hooker in a holodeck, Chia Spock is guaranteed to entertain your kids longer than a William Shatner album.

How does it work? Just soak Mr. Spock's head in water overnight, then add the special packet of Rigelian mold spores the next day. Your Chia Spock will grow faster than a tribble in a grain transport!

Sound hard? Well you don't need to be programmed by an alien computer to get the mildly-toxic spores into Chia Spock's brain. Just simply inject the living, growing alien material using the patented "Real-McCoy" hypo included in the Chia Spock kit. Place your Chia Spock under the light of a yellow sun, then "watch it grow"! Keep the head filled with water, and your

Chia Spock is guaranteed to live long and prosper.

But what about those "other" pottery toys that break and shatter like dilithium crystals in a reverse polarity field? Don't worry! Chia Spock is stronger than triple-plated tritanium. Made with special space-age materials and a unique "vulcanized" terracotta, Chia Spock will last longer than a red-uniformed security officer on an away mission.

More popular than other boring toys like Kirk-Plunk, Lt. Uhura's Uhurla-Hoop, or even Romulan Twister, Chia Spock provides endless entertainment, while teaching your child a lesson in cosmic biology.

Light years ahead of the competition, Chia Spock is a delightful toy, fun for Star Trek geeks of all ages!

Order your Chia Spock now, and get a free, fully functional phase rifle!

This story about the Chia Spock and Star Trek is brought to you by The Toque,
the world leader in Star Trek parody, Star Trek satire, and other Star Trek humor.