Television's Warm Glowing Warming Glow

Television was the one babysitter that never complained.

That's because television's "warm glowing warming glow" kept you occupied the way that no babysitter ever could. For hours on end, you could stare and gaze and gaze and stare at the colourful moving images on the magical picture screen.

So, aside from the obvious "responsibility" issues, why did we ever need real babysitters, when TV did the job all by itself?

A generation ago, our parents didn't have the same worries or concerns we do today. Back then, it was okay to leave the doors unlocked, let the kids talk to strangers, or leave them at home for an evening while mom and dad went to the dance. What could possibly happen?

There was always an emergency number on the refrigerator, and mom or dad always called to make sure you brushed your teeth. You didn't need to pay someone two dollars an hour for that.

Besides, there were other reasons television made a better babysitter.

Television didn't tell you when to go to bed--it just started to show crappy programming later at night, encouraging you to turn off and turn in. Television let you eat in front of it, and didn't mind you handling its knobs. Television was only loud when you made it, and it could be muted any time you wanted.

Television never forced you to do your homework, your chores, or made you wash behind your ears, although sometimes maybe it should have.

And television was available around the clock, didn't ask for overtime, wouldn't clean out the fridge, ring-up long distance charges, or invite its boyfriend over for a little snuggling.

It seemed that television was the perfect companion, a responsible guardian for those times your parents had to dash out for an exciting night of Bingo, square-dancing, or Canasta. It was a protector that never needed a ride home, two days notice for holidays, or payment in advance.

On the other hand, television never made you cocoa, read you bedtime stories, or taught you about sex, because those channels didn't exist when you were a kid.