| Wil Wheaton Wins World Series Of Strip Poker |
The More You Lose, The More You Have To Show For It
Wheaton a promising young poker star, has been polishing his poker game in recent months, playing in online strip poker tournaments at strip-pokerstars.com, and participating in celebrity stripdowns. This was his first material win. The game of poker, and Texas Hold-em in particular, has gained increasing popularity in the past two years, and strip poker has also been "taking off." Wheaton dropped a hand (and his shorts) early on in the tournament, but won back a pair of size 36 Levi's a couple of hands later to help him regain his composure and his modesty. He was lucky then that he didn't have to reveal his monster (hand). Wheaton was fairly limp at first (with his betting), but he grew hard (limiting his facial expressions) as the tournament wore on. At the end of the first day, Wheaton almost lost his shirt (and everything else) going all-in, or more aptly "all off" with a pair of pocket Jacks, but came out on top (and with an extra top) when sexy Christy Meanly from Arlington Texas, got the third jack, but failed to make her full house. Wheaton had jokingly mentioned that she had a nice set, but unfortunately her 3-of-a-kind wasn't enough to beat his flush. Wheaton managed to avoid distractions from female players who intentionally threw their bras into the pots for the small (and sometimes very large) blinds, and played a tight game for the next two days (more so due to the undersized jeans he won earlier). He was able to disrobe several opponents, bluffing many of them into the buff with strong bets and over-the-top raises. In one brilliant hand, Wheaton knew that strip-poker veteran Lance Beauregard had the nuts, but that was mostly because they were sticking out his boxer shorts. Wheaton was in 3rd place going into the final day, with a healthy stack (of clothes), and he was able to maintain his momentum, despite a losing "streak" from 15th place finisher Deborah Landon from Seattle, who ran around the table naked screaming: "I love you Wesley!" Wheaton made it to the final table after Gil Reppard from France mucked his briefs in a very embarrassing moment. In the finals, Shirley Peet of Memphis busted when her bra-clasp gave out, and she flopped her pair. Wheaton made his gut-shot straight, hitting a queen on the river to win the hand, and take home the strip poker championship. Wil isn't quite sure what he will do with all the clothes he won. Many of the items didn't fit and would likely be donated to the Salvation Army, but Wil indicated he might keep some of the lacier undergarments for himself. Wil also took home a couple of decks of the nude playing cards that were used in the tournament. This story about Wil Wheaton and Texas Holdem poker is brought to you by The Toque, the world leader in Wil Wheaton parody, Wil Wheaton satire, and other Texas Holdem poker humour. |
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