Necessary Disclaimer
The Toque is a web-based satirical entertainment magazine, and is only intended for the humourous consumption of our audience.
All of the material on The Toque is humour and satire. It is intended to poke fun at current events, world culture, and the human condition.
Public figures used in The Toque are portrayed for satirical purposes only. All other characters are fictional. Any use of real names is coincidental and purely unintentional. Any similarities to actual persons is also pure coincidence, and not our intent. We cannot emphasize enough how coincidental our fictional entities are to any real life individual, entity, or character.
All other stories are presented in The Toque for their humorous value and are not true. If one of the stories happens to become fact, it should be considered a lucky guess, and not as a result of any inside information. It's really all just made up. If our story happens to parallel any other parodied or satired story, that too should be considered coincidence. There are seven billion of us on the planet. Just keep in mind that Canadians did not reshingle the Egyptian pyramids, and we do not have the secret to telekinesis.
The material in The Toque is intended for adults, or those of adult age with maturity issues. It is not meant for those under 18 years of age. So please don't sue us because you let your kid read our website.
All of The Toque's content is Copyright 2007-2001 by The Toque Entertainment. You may not copy, reprint, or retransmit any of our images or text in whole or in part, without our expressed written permission.
Martha Stewart Magazine Nightmare Traumatizes Young Geek
Be warned gentle geeky readers, that the "true-ish" story I am about to tell will not fair well on the feint of heart or those of delicate countenance. Many of its aspects will sound too incredible to be considered factual. But I assure, you the events of this story could not come any closer to truth, unless they had backstage...
