|
Editors Desk
|
But Everyone Gets A Purple Ribbon!
 IN MY ARMCHAIR-- I've been following the Olympic games in Beijing (on television, not actually from Beijing), and I must admit that I'm mildly disappointed in the lack of podium finishes (that is to say, none) by Canada, my home and native land. I say mildly, because there are plenty of beach volleyball matches to distract me from my moderate pain.
I've watched numerous hours of broadcasting on the CBC, and I think there has been more content about China, than actual events. However, whenever I do get to see Canadians participate in various swimming and rowing and other Olympic events, and I see them finish fourth or fifth or last, or whatever, I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: "Well, we're just happy to have been able to compete" and "I think that every Canadian deserves a medal just for getting here".
WHAT????
|
|
|
Humor
|
I'm Always Pondering About Death
 Pondering Death
|
|
|
Humor
|
Pre-teen Plague Threat Attributed To The Fairer Sex
 School girls are required to wear special masks to prevent spread of girl germs. I know it shouldn't be necessary for a six-year-old to wear latex gloves, a face mask, and carry around packets of mint-scented anti-bacterial handwash. The cellophane shoe covers seemed unnecessarily excessive. But girl-germs were everywhere, and of course, with girl-germs there were no returns.
|
|
|
Beer
|
Beer Nuts Will Get You Plantered
 Beer nuts are a marvelous food. High in protein, loaded with fat, and potent with alcohol, there's no surprise as to why these tasty nuts top the list for snacking Canadians, ahead of cheese doodles, bacon rinds, and beaver jerky.
When parents go out, teenagers will sit around playing silly beer-nut-eating (drinking) games, popping beer nuts to Monty Python skits or crazy card games. The younger ones always get Plantered. The teens always try to replace the beer nuts they eat with filberts or almonds, but the parents always know. The salt on their lips is always a dead giveaway.
When I was eleven, my father let me try my first beer nut. I had been drinking dad's beer out of Dixie cups since I was eight, so I figured I could handle it. But nothing could prepare me for its robust, full-bodied flavour and intoxicating properties. I was asleep faster than my sister during a Sunday morning sermon.
|
|
|
Canadiana
|
Creative Canadians Combat Climate Change
 Pools are too much trouble! While many are content to turn up the air conditioning or head to cooler climates (Iqaluit, Alert Bay, Superman's Fortress Of Solitude), other resourceful Canadians do their best to adapt to the heat while maintaining comfort and control of their environment.
|
|
|
|
There's No Need To Get Out Of Your Computer Chair
The Mountain Dew bicep curl is one of many helpful geek exercises.
IN FRONT OF THE MONITOR--Every geek knows that spending 12-16 hours in front of the computer each day isn't exactly healthy. It's not that geeks are unhealthy,...
Popular CultureThe Chia Spock Is An Enterprising New ToyRead More...
