| Golfers Grateful For Oversized Golf Hole |
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Golf Figure!
And so it happened to Barney Klief, who on his first day of work as an assistant-groundskeeper at Rotting Pines Golf and Country Club, accidentally created the world's largest golf hole. The regulation size for a golf cup is 4.25 inches in diameter. That day, as one of his first tasks, Barney was given written instructions to repair one of the holes on the back nine of the luscious, executive-sized golf course. Unfortunately, Barney misread the instructions and mistook the double quote ( " ) for a single quote ( ' ), and spent the next three hours digging out a hole that was over four feet round. When Barney was finished, satisfied with the work he had done, there was a man-sized hole on the 132 yard 16th hole that could fit a giant beach ball. The result of Barney's grievous greenskeeping actions on that hole were 42 holes-in-one, 97 birdies, and one broken ankle--from an anonymous golfer who accidentally fell into the golf pit while trying to retrieve his ball. In addition, the clubhouse had to make good on its free lunch policy to reward any golfer that made an "ace".
Ultimately, it was the head groundskeeper's fault for not being more
specific, and for leaving Barney to work unsupervised while he had a
morning triste with the cute pro-shop cashier. Barney was severely admonished for his par-three faux-pas, and was nearly sacked for his golf goof-up, but many of the golfers expressed gratitude for the modification of the sixteenth hole. In fact, they were grateful for the chance to feel like a pro. "They should make ALL the holes this size," said Edward Thorpe, a retired school teacher who until today had never even birdied that hole. "It sure felt good...like Arnold Palmer at Augusta!" The game of golf is often criticized for being too difficult for the average player. So instead of making the clubs wider, the clothes lighter, and the balls softer, why not make the holes bigger? With a larger hole, ordinary golfers would be able to feel the joy of sinking that elusive 40-foot putt, or chipping it in from 45 yards. Shaving a few strokes off of the score would make the players feel better about themselves, and might bring out more players to the golf courses.
So what if you are tampering with a revered sport that is hundreds of years old? They added the designated hitter to baseball, didn't they?
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