Forest Workers Hate Those Damned Treehuggers
Tree-Loving Hippies Are An Embarrassment To True Environmentalists

treehugger, treehugging, hippie, forest, environmentalist, conservation, forestry, blockade, protest, tree management, forest management
A wretched treehugger grinds his hips on an innocent cedar.
CHOPITALDOUN FORESTRY CAMP, BRITISH COLUMBIA-- Wherehouser, an economic giant in the North American forest industry, is complaining again about "those damned treehuggers," the radical free-loving, neo-environmentalists who continue to violate the sanctity of trees in the forests of British Columbia.

The treehuggers are reviving a ribald practice that was common in the 1960s. Thought to be a long-gone fad, like streaking, tie-dying, and wife-swapping, treehugging--a lewd act performed by perverted arboreal lovers--has made an unwelcome comeback.

Wherehouser claims to be seeing more and more treehuggers on forestry lands, where they can often be found clinging to cedars, embracing the alders, and feeling up the firs.

"It's lewd, crude, and rude," said 'Big' Jim Darduffer. "The sight of a hippie with his pelvis pressed up against a jack pine is really rather sickening. It's a perverted practice that does nothing for the trees. And really, it's all about the trees, isn't it? We want what's best for them."

Forest workers like Jim think that the "crystal-clutching, sandal-wearing, poncho-packing druids" are simply up to no good.

"I don't know what their environmental agenda might be," added Jim. "I doubt they have one. I think they're just looking for a piece of ash."

Treehugging isn't illegal, but is perceived by many in the forestry industry as an obscene activity that has no moral or social benefit. Treehuggers disagree, saying the practice brings them closer to nature by embracing nature itself.

"They've got it all wrong," barked Wildwood River, a lonely, desperate treehugger from Quadra Island. "They're barking up the wrong tree. It's knot as if we're getting aroused by this activity. There's nothing wrong with getting close to these giants of nature and showing how much we respect them.

"Okay I admit, sometimes I get a little wood, who wouldn't," said Wildwood. "It's perfectly natural, given their size and power, but it's all platonic, really. We just want to be close."

The court of public opinion hasn't ruled on the treehugger situation, what with war, poverty, and famine dominating the headlines on the world scene, but many believe that something should be done soon.

"I think we should cut 'em all down, run 'em through the mill, and make 'em into fancy furniture," said Big Jim. "And I ain't talking about the trees."treehugger, treehugging, hippie, forest, environmentalist, conservation, forestry, blockade, protest, tree management, forest management

treehugger, treehugging, hippie, forest, environmentalist, conservation, forestry, blockade, protest, tree management, forest management



 
Next >
Worldwide, Pokerstars are agreed as the number one in poker

Friends Of The Toque

Cheap Cigarettes | Hardcore Sex
Bingo.com online bingo games! Adult Toys - Toys in Babeland locations include New York, Los Angeles and Seattle.
Celebrity Foods - The largest shop at home food service in the Western United States, career site.
Limo Chicago
Kamagra UK
Cheap Phone Sex
Trivia Quiz & Personality Test - Find free and fun trivia quizzes and personality tests including love test, iq test and many more.
Adult Netflix - Rent unlimited movies online from WantedList. Adult DVD Videos | Sex Shop | Sex Toys | Adult Videos
Play - expand your fun!
Online Poker | Hustler
American Gangster Reviews
Christmas Gifts and Shoes
Singles Charts
Play Online Bingo
Sex Toys Teen Help
iGuides.org Internet Guides
Vitiligo Jackpotjoy Bingo
Streamate Gay Webcams
Bingo Funny Pictures
Sexleksaker Adult Dating Bodog Poker Review
DallasXtreme Ventrilo Servers
Counter-Strike Game Servers
USA Accepted Casinos
Titan Icons
Order Generic Cialis
Sexy Japanese Babes Hard Action
Mortgage Questions And Answers