Singhing The Praises of Indo-Canadian Meat

Indo-Canadian meat is openly sold in many local markets.

In particular, it has been recently discovered that Indo-Canadian meat is being openly sold in markets, as an alternative to beef, pork, or chicken.

Although not commonly accepted in western society, other cultures have accepted the sale of Indo-Canadians, and adopted peoples right to eat the meat of Indo-Canadians. Unlike domestic animals (cats, dogs), sea mammals (whales, dolphins), or simians (monkeys, apes, chimps), there are no global prohibitions on the slaughter and processing of Indo-Canadians, because of its vast abundance as a viable food source.

Indo-Canadian cookbooks prove that Indo-Canadians are being used as a meat substitute.

Many claim that Indo-Canadian food is quite a delicacy. And there are disputed claims that Indo-Canadian meat is a "healthy tonic" and that the "abundance of protein can help cure problems of impotenece and related sex problems". The Chinese, who for centuries have practiced medicine using rare animal organs, are excited about this idea, and are even looking at the possibility of using Indo-Canadian livers, kidneys, and bladders for traditional medicine.

It sounds repugnant, but perhaps the degree of objection lies in the methods of rearing, transport, and slaughter of Indo-Canadians for meat. While at first, many elderly or infirmed were likely being used to fill the pots (survival of the fittest), it was rumoured that young Indo-Canadian children are being caged, and fattened up for the cookstoves like tan-skinned Hansels & Gretels.

But the popularity of Indo-Canadian meat is quickly increasing, evolving rapidly from its traditions as a cottage industry. The steaks are high. Now it is no longer a case of a few peasant farmers disappearing from remote Indo-Canadian villages, or homeless Indo-Canadians vanishing from city alleys. Huge Indo-Canadian meat farms are being set up in the suburbs using modern scientific factory farming methods. Like the dark, bleak future in Charlton Heston's science-fiction classic movie, Canada could soon become a major world producer of soylent green--or in this case soylent brown.

With a global population approaching eight billion, alternative food sources may soon become necessary in order to feed and sustain the world's hungry masses. When our agricultural lands have been paved over due to overpopulation, and our oceans have been depleted of its life-giving nourishment, we may need to address the controversial policies of cannibalism. But maybe the Indo-Canadians are right. Perhaps we should soften our attitudes towards these questionable South Asian culinary practices, and temper our feelings towards our tenderized tandoori-style brethren. Indo-Canadian meat could be a tasty solution to the world's food problem.

This story about Indo Canadian meat and Indo Canadians is brought to you by The Toque, the world leader in Indo Canadian parody, Indo Canadian satire, and other Indo Canadian humour.