| Mechanical Turks Safeguard Turkey |
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Page 1 of 2 Middle Eastern Mechanical Militia Maintain Mutual Peace
No other mechanical soldiers, the Robotic Romanians, the original Ottoman Automatons, or even the Android Albanians have been able to make such a bold claim. In fact, the Mechanical Turks have been far more effective than the famous Chinese Terra Cotta warriors. (The Chinese army was fierce but useless, since they were only able to stand in one place, and they were made of clay. They also toppled like ceramic dominoes with the smallest of shoves.) The original Mechanical Turks were manufactured in 1804 by the declining Ottoman Empire (why they were declining, nobody knows as the Ottoman leaders always declined to comment). At the time, roughly 79% of the Turkish male population had been decimated by plague, insurrection, war, and pomegranate poisoning, leaving the nation without the human resources necessary to maintain an effective army. Feeling threatened by Napoleon in the west and Russia from the north, the Turkish Sultan Selim III sold three of his solid-bronze palaces and gave away a mountain of Turkish delight to pay a team of turncoat Austrian scientists to invent a battalion of "iron mercenaries", mechanical metal-plated soldiers that could “fill in” until the Turks could reform, repopulate, and redevelop their own depleted military. |
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